Dr. Sherrie Campbell provides a roadmap to find recovery from difficult toxic family relationships. The doctor wrote “But It’s Your Family…Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath” (Morgan James Publishing, April; 204 pages, Trade Paperback), to help those circumventing life’s path away from harsh family dealings to get on track to a healthy life journey.
Campbell lived through her own childhood of “emotional rape,” as she describes it, which led her to totally remove any ties from her parents and sibling. She now has set her goals to help others flee and recover from toxic family relationships.
Campbell Provides Toxic Family Insight
Noted by Campbell are the layers of toxic family abuse. In the first layer of mistreatment is the originating bad conduct by abusers. The second layer is the abused denial of how he or she has been harmed.
Campbell reminds that one can forgive without reconciliation, and still love a family member while also refusing to have a relationship. It is vital that as one heals it is understood that one will need to realize that certain family connections are so poisonous that they will impede one’s health and daily life. It is these people in the family that one must learn to cut the toxic ties to. Campbell’s “But It’s Your Family” showcases how a person can remove themselves from toxic family abuse and to flourish.
Campbell aims to help readers remove themselves from toxic relationships:
“When readers are able to bring closure to those toxic relationships, they give themselves the space to love those family members from a distance. We can love them as fellow human beings, with the knowledge that it is unwise to remain connected. Readers learn how to love themselves in the process and fundamentally change their lives for the better!”
Interview with Campbell
Speaking with the wonderful Campbell is like talking to an instantly caring friend. The wonderful doctor gives her all as she carefully listens and gives back her entire being in her thoughtful answers.
Carol Ruth Weber: Did the emotional abuse from your childhood drive you to become a psychologist to help others?
Dr. Sherrie Campbell: A hundred-and-fifty percent, and I didn’t know that by intention. I was known as the bad kid to let my parents off the hook, and the therapist let me know when I was 16 that I was not the problem but a symptom of the dysfunction.
CRW: Has helping others heal helped you to heal even more?
Dr. SC: Yes, never did I know that more until I wrote this book. I spoke at the Women of Resilience and I got a standing ovation on the topic. There was a line of at least 45 people waiting to tell me their story. I had felt so alone before, no one believed me and then all these people had similar stories – and it was an amazing connection. I was willing to face any retaliation from my toxic family if my message was really going to help that many people – it really is and all worth it.
CRW: What do you suggest adults of childhood abuse do first to not be affected in a PTSD situation?
Dr. SC: I think what we have is CPTSD. Complex post traumatic stress disorder is when we get emotional flashbacks – when we get abandoned in present day everything comes back. When we are in those flashbacks I use the three C’s: catch the thought, check it for reality (what’s the evidence), change it to I’m fine and safe. The three C’s helps to slow down the response in the brain that are being emotionally hijacked – the three C’s slow down the CPTSD.
Campbell Teaches Importance of Loving Oneself
In order to change your life, Campbell first teaches the importance of loving oneself. As one who has lived through familial abuse herself, the author wants people to understand that toxic supposed loved-ones could be such close family as siblings, parents, adult children, grandparents, and in-laws. The book explains the difference between love that is healthy versus toxic conduct. Campbell teaches the importance of setting boundaries to evade those toxic people who aim to oppress and manipulate in their abuse.
Campbell notes her own abuse:
“Growing up as the family scapegoat was deeply painful for me. Toxic parents make their children deeply doubtful of their own lovability, significance, and value in this world as a way to maintain manipulative control and to keep them from telling the family secrets.”
The caring doctor wrote her book to provide comfort in letting others know they are not alone as they attempt to find a way out of a toxic family relationship. She notes how toxic parents simply do not notice, or care, how the child feels forcing the young one to bottle up feelings inside – causing the child to feel totally isolated.
Campbells empowering encouraging words come at the end of her loving book:
- You must choose freedom from slavery.
- You must choose to value yourself over your abuser.
- You must choose health over harm.
- You must choose a life of healing over hurting.
- You must change.
- The good news is that you can do all of these things.
The LA-based clinical psychologist, speaker, author, and former radio host has already aided thousands of people to mend themselves from the hurt and abuse caused by a toxic family situation. With her book, Campbell aims to help thousands more find a way to heal and move on from hurtful family.